It Is Rock And Roll
We are not too loud. Our stage volume and PA range from 100 to 115 decibels. That is loud but is not too loud as it will never cause hearing damage. In point of fact most clubs run their jukeboxes at about that volume level. If our music is too rambunctious for your tastes that has nothing to do with the volume we are performing at, your musical tastes just suck. We are a power trio. We play hard rock. We are a rock and roll band. That is who and what is booked into your club and you damned well better be prepared to sit through an evening of high energy. THAT is what we are there for, not the chicks or the money. We are there to pour our energy into the music and send it out to the audience where that energy gets transformed and sent back to us. We cannot and will not do that quietly in a corner where people can ignore it. If you wanted something other than that, keep reading.
What You Can Put In The Corner And People Can Ignore
What you want is a jukebox or some dude with an acoustic guitar, 2 small speakers on sticks and a songbook on a music stand. He will sing all of the generic, popular hits and try to have every imaginable request in his big ass songbook. He will also play for a fraction of what a band would charge you...possibly even play for tips. You will never have to tell him to turn down because his PA only puts out 90db before it distorts. For a little bit more money you can hire a blues band. They will still set up tiny speakers on sticks and a weenie PA but add a couple of small practice amps and a beginner drum set. They will be nothing to look at and every song will sound the same so your patrons can easily ignore them. Their wives and girlfriends will be dancing to every song so it will look like people are having a good time with this boring shit.
Play Something They Can Dance To
There are a few songs we play with tricky tempo changes but the rest are straight up rock with no surprises. It has a driving beat and anyone can dance to it. It is not dance music because that shit sucks. When I was a teenager we danced to Led Zeppelin, The James Gang and Bad Company at parties because they hadn't invented Disco yet. The idea that music requires some cheesy format and soulless beat to be danceable is absurd. Dance to something we play...or don't. Here's the thing about people on the dance floor all night. They aren't sitting there drinking your booze and eating your food. They are staying hydrated (water) and on the dance floor. Our audience is drinking cocktails and watching the band.
I Want Young Girls On The Dance Floor
This is what DJs are for. In this day and age a DJ will have access to any damn song that is requested right there on the hard drive in his system. HE can pander to the chippies. The plain fact is that chicks like that don't give a flying fuck if it is live or Memorex. They want to hear what they want to hear and they want to dance. They are the kind of people who only recognize songs as dance music if it is specifically designed to be that. If you play a classic rock song it simply doesn't register as one of their Disco, Hip Hop, Trance songs to shift their weight from one foot to the other and imagine all eyes on them for dancing so sexy. Having a DJ is even better if they want to line dance because he will have every one of those at the ready. If you want a packed dance floor you want a DJ. Once again, the bonus is that he will do the gig for a fraction of the cost of a band and probably not have a PA that can put out much more than 100db. He will also have really cool disco lights. I understand your thinking. If there are hot chicks packing the dance floor there will be tons of guys buying them drinks in hopes of getting laid. I'm just trying to help.
The bottom line is that having live music is a gamble. If you expect every band to pack your club and every show to pack the dance floor, some nights you won't get either. You can try to hire those bands that play the same generic cover band setlist and that way the band might change from show to show but, more or less, the same shitty music will get played every time. If you book a rock and roll band they will be fairly loud. They may or may not have all of the people on their blast list show up that night. Some people might dance to some of their songs or they may just sit and listen but either way they are enjoying themselves. If at the end of the night the till has rung up nicely then the people who were disappointed that the music was loud and made it difficult for them to socialize and the people who wanted dance music can go fuck themselves. You made money. Maybe you'd make more by having a dance club with a DJ. Maybe your tiny club can't handle live rock bands and you should stick to blues bands with tiny gear or acoustic acts. Maybe your patrons are only there to talk so a live band will be all kinds of bad and you should have a jukebox or no music at all.
